"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life". Richard Bach

Hellos are so much fun,  goodbyes are impossible. 

Last September our family grew by one . One remarkable young man. Olivia met Jorge at Festival Ballet Providence during their Summer Intensive Program in July and he was offered a contract as a Trainee in the Company. He was 18 and adorable and needed a place to stay as he is originally from Philadelphia. He and Liv were already inseparable and , well she can usually persuade me into just about anything, so Jorge became our Plus1 (as we affectionately referred to him).

I remember meeting him for the first time after the Summer performance and praying that when he met Emmie he wouldn't back away, or feel uncomfortable. I know that sounds silly for most but if you have a child with Down syndrome or any disability, you know what I mean.

Anyway, he melted my heart when he immediately reached out to her, addressing her as "boo".. Dear God he called her boo! I loved him from that moment on. And so did she!

He blended perfectly and effortlessly into our home and our lives.

Jorge brought so much into our lives. I mean, I thought we were the ones helping him out but in all reality we benefited so much more from having him with us.



Some of the perks of having an amazingly talented dancer/choreographer/all around super person living with you.

1. Your daughter will have an amazing piece choreographed for her for Grand Prix. 

2. Your little one will be taught how to properly twerk. That was a questionable perk at first but after watching the two of them during a "lesson" I was sold. Twerk away!

3. We are all better trained in how to defend ourselves. One quick, clean shot to the throat should give you enough time to run away should you be attacked. Thank you Jorge, Emmie is the best at this but better not take it to school!

4. We were turned on to new "quality " TV shows like Love &and Hip Hop. One day when everyone was out I sneaked a peek. Morbid curiosity got the best of me.

5. When the girls stress me to the point of not being able to breath, Jorge is the one to walk me through the chest pains. "Breathe Mama, breathe" ...he would say.

6. I knew he would watch out for the girls. I always wished they had a big brother.

7.Andrew finally had another boy in the house! Being the only brother with 4 sisters at home is beyond difficult.

8. Bella my "punk" finally had a soul mate. They were the same person, I swear! And he even made Sophie laugh.. no easy feat.

9.His laughter was contagious! Anyone who has heard the boy laugh knows exactly what I mean. What a freaking laugh!

10. You got Happy Birthday sung to you in Spanish. Jorge, Sophia's birthday is next!! You better call her and sing to her!!!

11. He made us happy.

The best times were just hanging out at night on those rare occasions when everyone was under one roof at the same time. No idea why, but it always led to dancing..

Sweet boy, you will always have a family and a home in Rhode Island. I know your talents will take you far. So much awaits you. There is no doubt in my mind you will find success in what you love to do. I can't wait to see where life takes you.


See you soon,
Love , Mama

To read more about Jorge the dancer you can go this blog,Setting the Barre,  Kirsten is also a dancer at Festival and wrote a beautiful post about Jorge from the dancer perspective.   Kirsten also has a link to the piece he choreographed for Olivia.

One Enchanted Evening..

Cinderella didn't dance as much at the ball as Emilia Faith did at her very first Father /Daughter dance.

The night was MAGICAL!!


I found the puffiest dress in the word. A pale blue.  She took my breath away.

Her shoes, unlike Cinderella's, fit her perfectly and were so comfortable that she was able to dance the night away in them and still make it home with both of them.

She was a little reluctant to sit for a photo shoot before the dance,and it showed...

But when her Prince Charming entered the scene her attitude quickly changed

And just like that , they were off.

And it's a good thing there were no spells involved with this fairy tale because Princess Emilia was out waaaay past her curfew. She arrived home sleepy, and still smiling.

 As I put her to bed,the dreams were already forming in that beautiful little head of hers, of  The One Enchanted Evening she had with her Daddy.

19 Years And Counting

19 years ago I married a guy who really had no idea what he was getting into. Thank you Peter for not running away when you realized your Princess was really the Evil Queen. (but with a good heart)

It's been a hell of a ride. We have been through things I never imagined could even happen. Highest of highs and extreme lows.

We've had dreams come true and we've watch dreams shatter.

We've picked up the pieces and moved forward so many times...

Marriage is HARD. It's frustrating and leaves you frazzled!

But, it's worth it. Because I would never want to go through this life flying solo. When good things happen it's you I want to celebrate with,and when the shit  hits the fan it's you I run to. You're my friend, my lover ,my confidant, my punching bag and all around much needed guy in my life.

You tolerate my weirdness with saint like patience.

19 years and counting.. there's no one else I'd rather tuck and roll through life with!

Happy Anniversary Peter! 

A Month of Wondering.. Is Today Her Birthday

April. 

What it means to most people is Spring!  April is always a much anticipated month, especially after this Winter. 

It means Easter. And a Holiday, school vacation and new life shooting up from a thawing ground. I was married in April. My anniversary used to be the most significant event the month of April brought with it.

But now, April fills me with a hidden sadness.

My Little Love was born this month.

Carina is in Russia. An orphan. Forgotten by all. Trapped there by a useless ban on Adoptions.

She was born in April. I don't know the day. So everyday, I wish her a Happy Birthday. 

I know no one will celebrate her. There will be no cake, no gifts or even an extra hug. I doubt that whoever cares for her even knows when she was born or cares to know.

But there are two woman in this world who will be thinking about Carina on the same day this month.

Me and her birth mother. 

I cannot imagine that she has forgotten the day her daughter was born. I have no idea the circumstances surrounding Carina's birth. Her mother was probably young and scared. Most likely she was advised by doctors that her child,  born with Down syndrome,  would be better off in an orphanage. Children like this don't "belong" in society as they will amount to nothing. 

Maybe she longed to keep her... maybe she never looked back. 

But she let her go. And I took Carina into my heart.

And there she will stay.. I've claimed her as mine. A spiritual adoption. One Putin has no say over. One I don't need the State to declare me fit for. No one wanted her but me, so I took her and she lives in my heart. 

This Christmas I was gifted with a new photo of my girl.

She turns 7 this month. Four long years of longing for this baby girl. 

April will never be the same for me. To most people, the ban on adoptions is all but a distant memory. Life goes on. New stories take precedence. The children get lost. Even more lost than they already were.  But to those who love them, it's like it happened yesterday. We will never be able to forget. One day Russia will reopen, and they will come home. I believe that with my whole heart. But until then April will be thirty days of wondering..  is today her birthday? 

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

Mama loves you more...

An Update From the Frozen Tundra

I guess I don't have to explain the title of this post, if you are even somewhat coherent you know the type of winter we have been having. It has snowed and snowed and snowed...

The calming effect snow usually has on me wore off sometime after the first 100 inches softly fell over us. That feeling soon changed to panic! How could the local grocery stores possibly be able to keep enough bread, milk and eggs on the shelves!!  Rage has now replaced panic as my  current state of mind as each impending snow storm is putting my sanity to the test.

Meanwhile:

The Robins flew in.. and I thought , there is hope! 

That was a few storms back. Have not seen or heard them since. I fear the worst.

Also we lost our Fancy Bear Gerbil ,Gus Gus. And because he chose to kick the bucket when there was no less than 4 feet of snow on the ground he "Laid in State" for a few days as we tried to figure out what the hell to do with him.  He was too big too flush and too good for the garbage. We decided to pack him on ice til the ground is visible (maybe by June) and give him a proper burial. So Gus Gus is wrapped in a beautiful glass jar in the snow on the deck til he can join the cat and various fish pets we have buried around the yard.

On to the humans


They're all fine and driving me crazy.

The girls are dancing, Bella is flipping and Andrew is still disgusted that we had only one boy.

We've been playing host family to Liv's friend Jorge, an up and coming dancer/choreographer from Philly, who will soon take the world by storm.  

We love him and are trying to figure out how to keep him forever. Of course his real family might have a problem with that  ;)  He's a blessing and a joy who came to us at a time when we really needed a breath of fresh air. He really deserves his own post. I  think he is expecting it, Soon... Soon Jorge!!! I promise!

And the star of the show,Emilia Faith... is still running things around here.  Her boundless energy keeps us all exhausted, her beauty astonishes us, her appetite to learn is ferocious! She dances and sings and is living the life! She's also very naughty and spends a lot of time in time out...

She is loving school and working diligently on potty training both at school and home. We are trying the tag team method. 

She is the Princess of Lippitt Elementary School. Loved by all.  And patiently tolerated by the ones she chooses to bully...   But, she is improving daily on her inappropriate contact with friends.

This has been a long and stressful winter. We have gotten through on faith, humor and Jorge..(we really love the boy)

Looking forward to spring, things that are green and warmer temps. 

We Will Never Forget Our Russian Orphans: Happy Birthday Natasha.

We are fast approaching the two year anniversary of a day I do not want remember but cannot forget. 
On Dec 26th 2013 Putin closed Russia to Americans adopting. With a stroke of his pen he broke hearts, shattered families, took hope away from orphans, and to many Russian orphans handed over a death sentence.

One of my friends Katrina Morriss can never forget that day either. Her daughter Natasha is one of those countless orphans now stuck in Russia. Here in America she has a family who desperately longs for her. The future is unknown, unsettling and scary. 

Katrina has never rested since Putin wrote into  law the dismal future of all Russian orphans. She has fought for awareness and to keep the children of Russia in the spotlight. She refuses to let them slip into the  darkness where they will be forgotten by everyone. Out of sight out of mind works for Putin but not for Katrina!

Below is a plea from Katrina. I can only ask that if you are reading this you please think about the beauties that had families, met their families and were anticipating their lives in America. And then because of one selfish, cold hearted leader, lost their dreams. Think about the moms and dads that held their sons and daughters promising to be back soon, only to be locked out forever. Please like Katrina's Facebook page. And for the love of all, remember the children. They are still there, families are still fighting for them. Please don't let them be forgotten.

Katrina's Plea:

In honor of Natasha's 9th birthday and the 2 year anniversary of the adoption ban please join together with us to get 10,000 likes on the Parents United for RussianOrphans FB page by the end of the year.

https://www.facebook.com/parentsunitedforrussianorphans

Our goal is for people around the world to come together to help the children stuck in Russian orphanages by providing information and supporting groups that help the children have better lives. We are begging the Russian government to bring about change for the better and continue to ask them to work with our government to allow the remaining pipeline children to come home. If this is not possible, we pray the children will speedily find loving homes in Russia and that the government will provide the necessary support system for them.

Natasha was only 6 years old when a loving family met her and agreed to adopt her. She has spent an extra 2 1/2 years in an orphanage because of the adoption ban and most likely will spend the rest of her life without ever knowing the love of a family if changes are not made.

Natasha

The link to our blog(Katrina Morriss) and this beautifully written article by Russianjournalist and volunteer for Downside Up Julia Kolesnickenko . that has links to our documentary that will be shown in Russia on December 13th.

http://parentsunitedforrussianorphans.blogspot.com/

The link to the documentary FB page. 
https://www.facebook.com/childrenofthestate

Like ·  · 13

   
  

Down Syndrome Awareness, Day 11: Sometimes The Facts Are Not Enough

I thought about posting some facts about Down syndrome , but you can google them in a second and have them all sorted out on the computer screen for you.

Facts and stats about health issues and life expectancy, delays and characteristics. 

But you may have a hard time finding some other facts. Facts that aren't as widely known as the medical facts and all that other stuff that scares the crap out of people. I don't think it's fair that when you are expecting a  child with Ds that you instantly feel fear and if you don't people think you are crazy. I was beyond scared for the last five months of my pregnancy. It was all unnecessary. I wish I had known some fun facts then. 

Not all the facts are scary. 

 Down syndrome Fun Facts :


1. You are having a baby! Surprise! It's still a beautiful baby you are carrying!!!! 

2. This baby will cry, and keep you up at night!!! YAY!

3. This little one will grab your heart so tight you will physically feel it in your chest!  

4. You will laugh like you have never laughed before. 

5. You are about to become a better person. You won't even know it's happening.

6. Your strength now rivals Wonder Woman's, in fact you could easily kick her ass (if you had too) 

7. You will find yourself uttering one liners that have never been  heard  by other human beings before, such as.. "Emmie do not kiss the gerbils butt!"



8. Nothing will ever phase you again. No longer will you gasp at children who are ill behaved in public. You now walk by smugly, knowing your kid could top that kids tantrum with one leg tied behind her back .

9.  Popsicle's will be an acceptable food for breakfast because you know you will NEVER leave the house if she doesn't get one!

10. A piece of heaven has been offered to you. Take it! Love and enjoy this gift every day of your life!! Not everyone is given a gift this precious. This child will open your eyes , and show you things hidden from the rest of the word. I kid you not!!!!

Down Syndrome Awareness Month, Day 4,5,6 and 7: Tony, Tony Tony!!!

Holy Cow! What a week! So busy! Not a spare second to sit and write! I've got a minute now so I will catch up. 

How about a story about Em and her new school?

She is in all day Kindergarten. Fully included. 

She is ruling the roost and having a freaking ball. She is testing the waters of a new school, new kids and new teachers. She is not using her best behavior like in her old school. They are practicing "nice hands" with her. Apparently she is taking swings at her new little classmates and her teachers..

And knowing Em she's doing with a giggle and a twinkle in her eye. 

When she's not hitting , she can be found throwing things and running like the wind around the classroom. 

With my blessing she now has a designated "time out " spot. 

Gotta love her!!

She also has a special friend named Tony.

You know the saying opposites attract? Well, apparently free spirits can become bosom buddies also. 

She calls his name constantly and if you ask her if she likes Tony, she literally gushes and gets all silly.

She is smitten!!!! 

She has to sit near him in school and they are using him to motivate her to be good! HA! 

Yesterday her teachers were very concerned because Em would not eat. Not at snack , not at lunch and not at the second snack time. She wouldn't play outside and she was very clingy. She also wanted to sit with the weighted blanket and just tap her fingers on it. Poor Em they thought, she must be getting sick.

Or....

Could this have something to do with the fact that Tony left school early?????

Yeah, she was sick alright! LOVE SICK!

Ate like a horse when she got home and played all night. And of course talked about TONY!

Her first crush! 

As I type this she is looking through her school papers , talking up a storm. And of course the only words I can understand are Ooooh, Tony! 

Well, at least we have mastered the "T" sound !




  

Down Syndrome Awareness Month , Day 3: Persistence

Calling today a cheat day. I've been running like a nut since this morning, so putting something original together right now is not humanly possible for me or my tired brain. 

I love looking back on older posts. So, this is one of my favorites. It makes me smile and yes, cry just a bit. But not sad tears. Do you have a sunflower in your life?  


From October 21st 2010

Persistence.

Persistent. That just about sums up what this sunflower is. It's October 21st, well past blooming time.Sunflower season is over. The leaves are changing, the temperature is dropping and the garden is readying itself for a long winters nap. But this sunflower bloomed today. Stuck it's pretty face into the sun for the very first time. The epitome of a late bloomer. You see this sunflower had a tough beginning. It started out in the usual way, as a tiny seed, gently planted into the earth in early spring. It was tended to and watered, and in time it became a tiny shoot, with tiny little leaves. Well, it met up with a wayward lawn mower and it all but disappeared.  I feared it was gone. But everyday I checked on it, I knew it's roots were still embedded in the earth, and in time it grew again. Still early enough in the summer, it would have plenty of time to grow tall.  Then some nasty bugs ate all the leaves and my sunflower disappeared again. I feared the worst, but once again it proved me wrong and started to grow. Just a little slower and smaller this time. It was already halfway through the summer, but still enough warm days left I thought, for it to grow tall and strong.  One more attack of bugs took it from my sight. It was late summer now and even if it came back again I feared the cold would put an absolute end to my sunflower. But, again it persevered and started to grow. This time I felt bad for my sunflower. All this effort to grow and stand tall, so many times starting over and over again, just to be frozen by the dropping temps. Why does it bother? Why doesn't it just give up? 
I guess because, that's all it knows. Maybe this sunflower longs to feel the sun on it's petals even if it's just for a day. Because even a life that doesn't seem worth it is very well worth it if it's yours. Maybe it's not the quantity of days but the quality. Maybe it just enjoys a good challenge!    

Regardless of the reason, my summer sunflower is here and blooming right next to the fall mums. Her stem is crooked and her flower is small but her face is in the sun. And I think my sunflower is beautiful, just as she is.

I think I'll call my sunflower Emilia...

Down syndrome Awareness Month Day 2 : Our Hearts Are Full

A diagnosis of Down syndrome may initially cause you to spin wildly out of control. But when the dust settles remember these words

IT'S ALL GOOD!

It's all good except if you're a gerbil and travel in a ball. Then you might have a problem

Throw the fears out the door and lock that sucker up tight. 

Your life is going to get better, your heart,bigger, your voice, louder.

There will be days when you are frazzled, exhausted and need to give yourself a time out. ( kinda sounds like a day in the life of a mom , doesn't it?)

But !

EVERYDAY will be a blessing.


EVERYDAY will leave you with a full heart.

And

EVERYDAY will have you wondering what you did without this Dumpling, who just turned your upside down world into absolute perfection!



  

It's October Already??? You Know What That Means.. Down Syndrome Awareness Month Begins!

Okay,okay I've been MIA for months!!! Summer came and went and I seriously did not write one post. This old blog needs a dusting off! October is here, so time for some fall cleaning! I'll be posting as much as I possibly can to spread  Down syndrome Awareness this month.  

I guess today is as good a day as any to fill you in on what Miss E has been up to  for the last three months. 
After preschool graduation in June she basically just hung out with me all summer. She enjoyed her time in her little pool. And just running wild.

And we learned that Em is one hell of a strawberry picker! She can pick and eat her weight!

I, on the other hand lamented all summer over the looming dark cloud called Kindergarten. I had mounting anxiety. Mostly about the school. It was not my favorite. 

ANYHOO... fast forward to present day and I will be the first to scream .. "I was wrong"!!!!!!!!!

She is having a blast , I love her teacher and her teachers aid is 
AH MA ZING! 
Emmie is taking her place as the bad girl in town by hitting all her friends ( we are making progress).

And she even as a special friend named Tony. When Em hears his name she freaking glows and gets all silly. I kid you not. 

I met Tony this morning and I immediately understood my girls weak knees. He is adorable! Big brown eyes and lashes that hit his eyebrows. And that smile!!!!  Simply irresistible!

So all is well with Kindergarten. Whew!

First day photo!

Keep checking back! If not for the writing abilities of the resident blogger, than for the sole reason of seeing some Emmie for the month of October! And maybe learning a bit about Down syndrome so you too can be an advocate!

My Firecracker Turns 15!

July 4th 1999, I was having contractions that felt like firecrackers going off inside me. I was confident that our second child would be a 4th of July baby. But Miss Sophia had a different idea. She wasn't about to share her birthday , she wanted her own day. So two days later on the 6th she made her debut. 

She was full of vim and vigor from the moment I held her and has been ever since.


She is unpredictable and at times exasperating.  She has the ability to drive you to the edge of insanity and then leave you hanging there...  

But, she can also make you laugh til you think your stomach will burst. Her sense of humor is definitely a gift from God.

She is a classic beauty and I find myself staring at her, simply in awe of her face. Her heart is good. And she is brilliant.

You are growing into an amazing young woman, Sophie.

Enjoy the ride you are on. Don't take things too seriously. Treat every experience whether it be good or bad as a chance to learn something and to grow stronger and wiser, (remember , your name means wisdom)

Your life is an empty canvas! Use every color in the rainbow to paint your future!!!!  

And above all, remember that you are loved more than you can EVER imagine!

Love you more, 
Mama

Sometimes Being Sad is Okay.

It's "our" last day of preschool..

Today is going to suck... just sayin.

I've been trying to make the best of today. Counting our blessings and what not. But you know what? Today is just going to be sad. I am happy for the amazing three years Em had with her beyond amazing team at Drum Rock, but my heart hurts to think today will be the last time she interacts with them. The last time I drop her off and see Libby's beautiful smile waiting to take Em inside. The last time Ms. Lisa will have Em in her class and the last time I will sit in line as #25 waiting to pick up Em, and the last time she is with all her friends . 

I've decided to just be sad today.   


I don't have the energy to suck it up.

Sometimes being sad is okay.

Time To Say Thanks..

Alarm buzzing at the crack of dawn.
Day beginning , coffee brewing.
Kids still sleeping, that won't due, too much happening.
It's Culmination Day!
Costumes, pointe shoes, Sophia your Character shoes!!!!!
Seriously no toothpaste? Dads up he can run!
Nothing for lunches, they have a long day, pick up something on the way.
Leaving late, mom is stressed, kids are fine, no concept of time.
Warm up class has begun, two ballerinas just five minutes late.

Back on the road to the bakery I go.
Strawberry cheesecake for a dear old dad.
Back at home, not looking too good.
Vacuum and dust let the gerbil out.
Bathroom is clean laundry is switched.
Baby is bathed and mama is too!
All before noon...  

First show is over, wonder how my girls did.
A short rest for them then show number two.
Tickets are bought, and flowers to buy. 
Will tonight ever come!

Sharing his day, he mows the lawn.
Never complaining, he carries on.
Our joys are his, he cares for us first.
He seems to go unnoticed. His just gets thing done 
I'll be the first to admit.
That sometimes we forget all that he did.

 I know it's not easy, taking care of us all.
At times we're demanding and not fun at all.
But today is your day, so I say to you.
Happy Father's Day, Peter.
Thank you, for all that you do.

My 1000th Post! A Full Moon, Friday The 13th, And My Baby Graduated Preschool!

WHAT A  DAY!!!! I've been out here in Blog Land for just over five years now. I love it! This blog is my heart. I write about my family , my passions, and my sunshine. I've made friends that I may never meet in person but have joined souls with. I love you and I love your children... you all know who you are.

I laughed with you and cried with you and vented with you.

So, how befitting that my 1000th post would fall on today. One of the biggest days of my five years here!

  
Emilia Faith has graduated from Preschool! 

She wore her cap (her way) tassel in the middle. She wore her prettiest dress. And brand new sandals.

She sang all the songs and danced along.  

After there was Italian ice!

This is her warning look. She has absolutely no intentions on sharing her treat.

And if you get too close , she will go for the throat! (Sigh) Yeah we're working on that choke hold.

She received her diploma from the best teacher EVER! 

And we are so thankful for Anastasia. The best friend EVER!  

Tonight we will eat cake. This was definitely a cake worthy accomplishment!

Love you all who continue to follow my blog and love my girl. So glad I have you all to share this with. You understand how huge this day is!