We Came Here Alone

I remember the first time I came to Blogland. I don't, however remember how I got here. I believe God gently lead me here. He knew this is where I needed to be. For me... and for Him.

I came alone. No family around me. I wondered in when everyone was away doing there own thing. I came out of curiosity. I wanted to see how people lived. People afflicted with Ds. Yes I just said afflicted. When I came here, I didn't actually want to be here. I didn't want to be in this "world".

I didn't have very high hopes for my baby or for the future of our family. I expected everything to come crumbling down with her birth. I would try to conjure up ways out of this unacceptable situation we were in. Part of me came here to find the truth. The truth as I thought it was. That families who had a child with Ds could not possibly be as happy as they tried to make themselves out to be. I came here looking for the families who were miserable. Whose lives were ruined. Whose happiness was a thing of the past.

I couldn't find them. Where were they? Where were the people like me? The miserable, scared, freaked out people. Surly I was not the only one!

Instead, I found happy, beautiful families, with equally, happy and beautiful children, all sporting that extra chrom.

But, as I read deeper into the lives of these families I came to learn that these were the people like me. These were the miserable , scared, freaked out people! I found them!!!! But there was something different about them.
Just as I came here, alone, looking for answers, so most of you did too. But the answers were not what we expected. They were far from what I expected!!

The answers came from families with infants and toddlers and teens even adults with Ds. The answers came from families with healthy children, children battling cancer, children awaiting heart surgery, children in remission, children learning sign language, adults making there way in this world, little ones just starting school and teenagers graduating from High school. And the answers were the same from everyone! The answers I found were, Hope, and blessings, and joy. Unconditional love, and feelings I can't even put into words.


And these feelings overwhelmed me. And the miserable, scared , freaked out part of me grew smaller and smaller, until I couldn't find it anymore.
And I decided I wanted to stay here in Blogland. I wanted to share my experiences and feelings with others. I showed my family what I found and took them on a tour. And they liked it too.

Not every day is happy and perfect in Blogland, there are days of heartache and tragedy. There are days you just don't feel like it. Days you don't want to hear another little one is fighting for their life, or needs yet another surgery, or just has the doctors bewildered. Blogland is not a fairytale, it's a real place with real people. Don't let that scare you away. Because it's in those difficult times that we find our bond is unbreakable.

And although we enter Blogland one at a time for various reasons, it seems we all stay for one important reason. To help others, to encourage and support. To welcome! To spread the word about the "magic".


Blogland is getting bigger and bigger. I see new people arrive almost daily. All with so much to offer. All experiencing the magic..

Thankful Sunday

.Busy day today! Two gymnastic shows, (Bella and Sophia) and a birthday party. First show is at 9:oo am!!! CRAZY!

The sun just poked through!! That's a good thing! the party is a pool party for one of Bella's friends!

Today finds me thankful for SUMMER!!! We have had the best weather! I know I probably just jinxed myself, but it has been picture perfect.

Thankful for funny moments like this that just make us laugh.



What a face!



This is the look we were going for!


Thankful Olivia had two teeth pulled with the greatest of ease.

And thankful her ankle seems OK.

Will be thankful this afternoon when Sophia's gymnastics is over as she has been complaining about her ankle!!

Thankful for our pool which is up and running and keeping the kids cool!


Thankful we have plans to see Toy Story 3 on Tuesday!!! HUGE treat!!!! And I'm a BIG fan! don't know who is more excited me or the kids!!!


And I'm thankful every time I look at this pot of flowers. Petunia's are annuals but they somehow made it through a New England winter and came back!


And Andrew the Boy Wonder has successfully completed T ball!! He received an award for the Most Enthusiastic Player!! VERY thankful for a great first season! He's one step closer to the Red Sox!! LOL A mother can dream!!!!!





Everyone have a wonderful Sunday!!! Keep cool!!

Common Ground... Revisited

I was looking through my older posts and came across this one. I think it's one of my favorites. I wrote it almost one year ago. Seems like yesterday. I thought I would share it again.

It's early... a little too early. Thanks Em! Any way, I'm up, everyone else is still sleeping, Emilia went back to sleep too, so, what to do... watch the sun come up on this soon to be very busy Sunday, and sit quietly with my thoughts. My thoughts... most of the time they are running wild, trying to catch up to me , my days, the chaos I call life. Stress has hit our family, sort of sucker punched us, it's reared it's ugly head too many times over the last two years and has affected us all. My thoughts are usually , what in the world is for dinner, why is Andrew crying, AGAIN! Hurry up we're going to be late, stop that fighting , clean up this mess and occasionally... where is the baby? The baby.... sweetness, calmness, love. She is our refuge, our oasis. She slows us down, she commands our attention. She soothes our aching heads. We are her puppets, our legs will run to her, our mouths will sing to her, our arms will hold her and our hearts, well.... they are hers forever. Life is hectic, unruly and much like a circus, but Emilia has become our center, our focus. Our cornerstone. One small delicate creature has so much power over us. Without even trying she brings us together, unites us. We work in unison to please her, we are all on the same team. We forget our worries, our differences are discarded. Her timing into this world was perfect, there was no mistake. I truly thought Emilia's "condition" would be what pushed me and the rest of us, right over the edge, but our little miracle worker did just the opposite. She has gently lead us to a safer place, a beautiful place. She is our common ground, and around her we build our strength. She is the air we breathe.

Originally posted on July 19, 2009

Miss Emilia is...

TWENTY MONTHS OLD TODAY!!!!

Andrew went to a birthday party and came home with this party hat. THIS HAT Miss Em will keep on her head! Any other hat gets thrown to the ground. She may be wearing this all summer, to protect that fair head of hers.

Splish Splash!

Well, Emilia has her own little pool. I think she would have been thrilled with it if we just left it in the house.


But we had to show her what it was really for. Plus she had to try out her new swim suit.


Andrew couldn't resist . And Emmie was more than happy to share her pool with her favorite big brother.

And Bella, wanted to test the waters. It's starting to resemble the clown car at the circus.


All done!


That water was cold!!!


A perfect ending. Snuggled on the swing eating her new favorite food... grapes.







Andrew was making me laugh, I thought I'd share it! He looks like a giant! But Miss Em loves it!!

Thankful Sunday

Thankful for this Dad who puts up with the whole lot of us!!! He does not have it easy!!! LOL

He's the kind of dad that doesn't mind driving to ballet, or taking the kids to doctor appointments that I don't want to. I remember when Andrew had regular visits with the ENT, Andrew was awful!! Peter took over all the visits.

He's the kind of dad that takes the kids to the park just because he feels like it.

He's the kind of dad that will stay up all night with a sick child so I can sleep.

He's the kind of dad that works all day to get the pool up so the kids can have it ready for the weekend.

He's the kind of dad that will rearrange business to make it to a school function.

He's the kind of dad that will take care of Emmie all day, even bringing her to the office, so I can go on a school field trip.

He's the kind of dad that will stop at the store more than once a day to pick up milk because we're out again!!

He's the kind of dad that we couldn't live without!

We are all very thankful for you!!!! Happy Father's day!


Happy Father's day to all the great dad's out there in blogland!! Have the sweetest day with your families!

Caution: Bragging Mom Inside

OK, before I completely pop with pride, I have to share my joy. The last day of school was yesterday and with it comes Report cards!! My kids have always done well but this year they just did SUPER! I struggled in school and to be able to see my kids do well makes me so happy.

Olivia made second honors!!! This means a lot since we will be looking at high schools this year. And they will be looking at her seventh grade, grades. She amazes me!

Here's Miss Bella's!! All four's and five's. Click to enlarge.

And notice how she brought her grade up in Writing / Composition. from a two to a FOUR!!! She had some issues earlier this year but pulled it together beautifully!! This really makes me burst with pride because Bella never thinks that she can do it. When it comes to school work, she gets very frustrated.

And Miss Sophia is next. Well this girl just breezes through. I've never seen her study, and I believe she was born knowing how to spell every word in the English language. we always go to her for a spell check.LOL If the fifth grade had Honors , she would be on them too!
Welcome to Middle School Sophia!!!!!


And I cannot leave out the Boy Wonder!! Kindergarten was a complete success! Andrew is now a first grader!! What a great year is ahead of him! Look at all his O's! O is for Outstanding. Click to enlarge.


I don't know how many of you are using this grading system. I can't stand it!! Four's and Five's are 90's to 100. Three's are 80's and Two's are 70's. One is failing. or something like that!LOL

I really wish they had stuck to regular numbers for grading. You knew exactly where you stood. This method leaves a lot of gray areas.

Thanks for listening, I'll be back to my normal posts soon!! LOL

Day 180!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are done!!!!!!! Let summer begin!!!!!




And some are just not that excited it about it... yet.



BTW, I've got 66 followers, can we ditch that number??? One more will do.
Thanks

Wordless Wednesday

How to tie a shoe.

My Little Man

The best of the best! Andrew's teachers.



Andrew Graduated from kindergarten today!! Oh my heart. Why does it feel so heavy????

I was fine until this morning. Then it hit me. All four of my children have started school in St Peter's. Miss Em will not. This is the last kindergarten graduation at this school with these incredible teachers.

I thought I was OK with this. Honestly I haven't been dwelling on it. Until today that is.

I want Em to feel and experience what all my other kids have at this school. And she won't.

It's an ending that I don't want, and a beginning I'm not sure of. I know Em would be embraced and loved in this school. Everyone already knows her. The children adore her. It is the perfect school for her. The problem is it's a private school and forget about funding for an aid or anything to meet special needs. Private doesn't mean well funded, and this makes me sad. Em would blossom at St. Peter's. She would laugh and make friends. And I would have peace of mind.

In just a year Em will begin to transfer from ET to the school dept. I've been told that Warwick is a "good" one to be in. We'll see, I guess.

And then there's my Little Man, Andrew, whose not so little anymore. Who is growing leaps and bounds, right before my eyes. Someone has sped up the hands of time to a very uncomfortable speed. I need slow motion for a while, just until I can catch my breath.

But, on the other hand, which isn't so heavy hearted, I am overjoyed that my children are growing and changing and becoming beautiful , independent people. I'm blessed to be alive and able to watch the ever changing cycle of life.

And I am being forced to accept change, for what it is. A new chapter. Em's chapter. And in the end, as long as we're happy , healthy and together, that's all that matters. In my heart I know that.

Just sometimes I get a little forgetful, like today.

Signs

I received these in an email today. Thought I'd share. Hope it makes you smile.













I think this is my personal favorite!!(above)

Thankful Sunday

It's a rainy gloomy Sunday and I can already tell the hustle will be on to get everyone dressed and ready for church. I'm getting a late start and when Mama's late we're all late!

Thanks for the prayers for Sophia. She wasn't able to finish this year. She has been dealing with a mild sprain and it got the best of her yesterday. We were sitting at the one mile marker and she had to stop at that. With tears in her eyes, she reluctantly had to sit it out. But I'm thankful that she made it to us at the one mile. And her ankle is no worse for it. Now I have two girls fighting for the ice pack!!

I'm thankful that Sophia has such a great friend. her name is Paula. She's actually Peter's twin sister. I wrote a post about Peter last week. She did a great job in the race. Back at the finish line there were goodie bags for all the racers. Since Sophia never went back to the finish line she didn't get her bag. There was a really nice t shirt in it. I was speaking to Paula later and just mentioned that I felt bad Sophie didn't get her bag, because she would have liked the t shirt. Without any hesitation Paula handed me her t shirt to give to Sophia. She insisted since so many of her siblings ran in the race there would be plenty of t shirts in her house.
Paula you're a sweetheart!!!!!!



Here's Sophia coming over to us. She doesn't look too happy.



Waiting for the parade to start. Andrew instantly freaked out when the guns started firing. And we left shortly after. Just keeping the tradition, LOL

VERY Thankful that I got to actually speak to a dear friend on the phone !!!!! Kele , Presley's mom and I finally talked after a game of phone tag! We talked like we were friends since birth and were right next door to each other. It was lovely!!

Thankful for only FIVE more days of school!!!!

And last week Sophia and I went to the park early in the morning. Her to run and me to walk. I'm thankful for the sweet surprise we saw when we got there. Two young deer were standing right in the middle of the park. Very unlikely place to find deer. The park is right in the middle of our neighborhood. There is just a small patch of woods around half the park. Well these two saw us and we saw them and just stopped. They were just hysterical. You could so tell that the sensible one wanted to leave, but the curious one wanted to stay. As she walked away slowly the other tried to entice her to stay and play. What a show we had. Of course no pictures. Who would think there would be any thing to tale pictures of at the crack of dawn??

And yesterday Emilia got her new car seat! Yes! she's 20 pounds and now has a lovely rear facing booster seat. And I'm thankful it was on sale, and I'm thankful that Babies R Us was having a car seat check in the parking lot yesterday. If you had your seat checked you got a 20% coupon for a new seat! YEAH we got even more off!!! And they installed the new seat.

And today I'm thankful that there is NOTHING on the schedule!!! A day of rest, as God intended!

Everyone enjoy the day!!!

My 5K Girl

Last year Sophia ran her first race. The Gaspee Day 5K. She finished 509th out of 842 participants. This includes seasoned racers and beginners, adults and children. Her time was 29:o9. She did so well and of course we were incredibly proud.

Well she's at it again. The race is tomorrow morning. This year she missed a lot of the practices due to her ballet schedule.
So I'm asking for a prayer if you have a minute, that my girl can do her best and finish the race.

Thanks!

Perfect Words

Beautiful In My Eyes, by Joshua Kadison

You're my piece of mind, in this crazy world
You're every thing I've tried to find
Your love is a pearl
You're my Mona Lisa
You're my rainbow skies
And my only prayer is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

The world will turn
And the seasons will change
And all the lessons we will learn
Will be beautiful and strange
We'll have our fill of tears
Our share of sigh's
My only prayer is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

You will always be beautiful in my eyes
And the passing years will show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes

And there are lines upon my face
From a life time of smiles
When the time comes to embrace
For one long last while
We can laugh about how time really flies
We won't say goodbye
Cause true love never dies
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

You will always be beautiful in my eyes
And the passing years will show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes

The passing years will show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes...

Peter and I danced to this song at our wedding. Doesn't everyone? But I never thought the same words would one day describe so precisely how our whole family feels about Emilia.

Wordless Wednesday

I just love a good book!

Here is the dress rehearsal video of Olivia's ballet. This is not her fall. She is the first one to come in from the left, and later is in the center, front line. As soon as she breaks from the group and heads to the center is when she fell . It's right in the beginning. I didn't realize that until I watched the video again. She danced most of the dance hurt.

You can also see the girl to the right in the front line walk off stage during the dance. She broke my heart. She is Olivia's teachers daughter and one of the nicest kids. She's been injured and just couldn't make it through. and also you will see another girl fall due to the slippery floor. She was not injured.

It's a beautiful dance, and the girls all did such a great job. I love this class. The girls have been together for about 6 years or so and they really work well together. If your into ballet you'll enjoy it.

Forget Diamonds!

Chocolate is this girls best friend!!! No baby spoon for this kid. Bring out the serving utensils.


Dosen't everyone eat brownie mix from the fine china?


Is this the face of a child who has had a little too much?


No way!! You can never get enough brownie mix.

What do you mean it's all gone!!

Thankful Sunday

Culmination week has come to and end. I am so thankful it's finished! The girls had their show this weekend and dress rehearsals all week. "The Greatest Show On Earth," as it has been dubbed in our house, went off with with just some minor problems. One of them being Olivia falling on a slippery stage while dancing in pointe, and hurting her ankle.




Thankful Sophia is so great at applying make up. After all these years you'd think I'd be the pro! I'm terrible!! But I can do hair!! Thank you Sophia !


Here's Miss Bella all set to go! Notice the great stage make up!


I'm thankful to Ashlyn. She is Sophia's ballerina buddy. I always get super pictures when she is around. She makes Sophia smile!

Aren't they cute!






And here are the injured pair. These lovely feet belong to Jordan and Olivia. Another set of ballerina buddies. Both with their left ankles wrapped. Both dancing regardless of the pain!

Olivia fell during the Friday night show. The show Peter and I were in the audience for. She rolled on here ankle and went down on her knee, and got right back up. Of course my heart stopped. She barely missed a step and kept on dancing. At first I thought she was just mad at herself for slipping, but as the dance went on I could see her fighting back the tears. She was in some major pain.

I have to brag here for a moment because those of you who dance or have kids that dance know what I'm talking about. She continued to dance in pointe for the entire time. Never improvising by staying on demi pointe, (half way up on your toes). If it weren't for the look on her face you would never know she was hurt. I met her as she came off stage and my heart broke. Seeing your child crushed and upset and hurt all at once is awful. And what was she concerned about? That Peter and I were in the audience. She kept saying," I didn't know you were watching this show! "I would have danced better". OK!!! Rip my heart out and tear it into tiny pieces!!!!!

Saturday she had two shows and absolutely intended on dancing in both. I was a nervous wreck. She got her ankle wrapped took her ibuprofen and iced until it was time to dance. I prayed! I watched from the wings with one of her teachers, completely unable to stop the tears. She did a beautiful job!!!

A mother who just happened to be in the audience the night Olivia fell was also volunteering backstage with me on Saturday and commented on how amazing Olivia was for continuing after the fall. She said she is a mentor and a trooper. I couldn't agree more! I am so proud of her.




And who wouldn't be thankful for this face!!!! What nut!

And I am thankful for only ten more days of school!! a rest is in sight.

Enjoy your Sunday!