Insane Thoughts
I love the lipI know I left off with me and Peter on our way to the hospital, but I an going to get off track today. I'll continue Emilia's story soon.
But yesterday I was talking to Peter and I told him what my very first thought was when I heard Em most likely had DS. I keep saying "most likely" because we declined the amnio that would tell us for sure. One thing I promised myself is that when writing these posts I would be honest, whether it was flattering or not. How can you help someone if you paint a false picture of yourself. And truth be known, I wasn't jumping up and down with joy when we first heard the words dS.
Any way and this may sound goofy or selfish , and you're probably right, but my first thought was " Oh my goodness, she won't have pretty eyes like the rest of our children". My thoughts back then were that people with DS were defined by their eyes. You could tell if someone has ds from their eyes. I was all wrapped up in a "look". One that my baby was going to have and one that she wasn't going to have.
Again, God was listening. And in His loving and caring way, put me in my place yet again. Emilia is baby number six. All of our kids do have beautiful eyes. All lovely shades of brown, topaz and even a little green(Bella). but the fairest of them all is EMILIA! When she was born the first place I looked were into her eyes. They screamed DS, and they were the most beautiful eyes I ever saw. Not because they were blue (I couldn't tell at that moment what color they were) but because they were mine. God just threw the blue in there for kicks.What I'm getting at here is , if you are struggling with a pregnancy, or you think you thoughts are crazy, they're not. I want my honesty to comfort someone. If you read this and say,"wow, I thought only I had thoughts like that", then great! You know you're not alone.
