Seven years ago my world was rocked by a 6lb 14 oz bundle of pinkness.
But before that, my world was rocked by a diagnosis of Down syndrome. I don't want this post to be about that as I've written about it many times. But I do need to state that, I let that diagnosis almost destroy me. That was stupid. I was scared, I shouldn't have been. If you are dealing with a Ds diagnosis seek other mothers and families who have a child with Ds for support. If I had done that the last five months of my pregnancy would have been a joy instead of a nightmare. That said , on to what I really want to write about....
On October 22nd my baby turned 7!
I blinked, that's all it took for seven years to go by. I started this blog when she was 6 months old. I was so amazed by her that I needed to share her with whoever wanted to read about our day to day lives, and loving to write, a blog made perfect sense. We'd get up early, me with my coffee, her with a bottle and I'd write. One day when I'm gone the kids will have this. It's good to write things down. What the mind forgets, words will bring back to life.
So, my Sweet Em, here are a few things I want to say to you. One day you will be able to read them all by yourself.
First, my Sweet, thank you!!! Thank you for taking my fear and making me fearless! You have given me so much more than I can ever give you. Every day you are a constant reminder that I can do more. I don't settle any more, I insist on pushing myself out of my comfort zone. You are faced with challenges every single day. Most people don't realize how hard you have to work at so many things. I remember when you were learning to climb stairs. Your PT and you battled it out. You wanted to do it your way, and she insisted you alternate your legs, the correct way. Oh my God you were so stubborn! Finally one day she took the gate off (that blocked the stairs), looked at me and said get rid of this. My first instinct was to ask her if she was insane, but I listened. She put you at the top of the stairs, stood in front of you and down you went, all alone. I believe we celebrated with cake!
Thank you for teaching me that the "perfect" family isn't about anything I thought it was. Perfection is a messy home, a loud house, running children, insane schedules, constant noise. It's laughter and crying and even fighting.
It's falling into bed and being asleep before your head touches the pillow, and getting up before the sun. It's taking a head count every few hours and hoping you come up with the same number; and if not, trying to remember who's missing and where the hell they are. It's chaos at all times and it's "perfect".
|a very rare photo of all 6 kids together.|
The first time you said Mama, was the greatest moment of all. I waited years longer than most moms to hear that word. It still brings me to tears to think about it. That sweet little voice of yours finally called out for me. My heart melted. That was a good day!
There was the day you learned to climb the rock wall at the playground. One day, that's how long that took. You were so happy with your accomplishment!
And now you are learning TKD. I know right? So cool. Your axe kick is freaking amazing! It's your happiest place to be.
You literally start shaking when you see the building. You're treated like a princess there and sometimes I have to walk away because I feel like I may cry. It makes me so happy to see how much joy a simple class (when taught by the right person/persons which we are blessed to have) can bring you. You are doing such a a good job at learning to be gentle with the other kids... We're all so proud of you.
You continue to teach us, guide us and make us stronger. Oh , there are days that you push us to our limits! You have mastered how to be the annoying little sister, and you definitely know what drives your mother insane. My stress level is higher, my alcohol consumption is up, and my social life is nearly dead but I wouldn't change a thing. You are magnificent Emila Faith and its and honor to be your mother.
You are loved Em, You are loved Fiercely