Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Watching Them Grow

The girls all together for some beading fun.

No words needed for this picture, we all know where they're headed.

Oh, here comes another school year. Olivia is in seventh grade, Sophia is in fifth Bella is in second and my baby boy is in kindergarten. When did all of this happen!!!!! I'm alone for six hours with Emilia. Time is going by too quickly. I am extremely emotional about all of "this growing up stuff". On the first day of school there is an opening Mass, as I stood in church today looking out at not only my children but the many others who I know, I couldn't believe how they've grown. My first born is turning twelve on the eighteenth of this month. Can someone tell me where twelve years went? Aniela, my step daughter is twenty two. She was a tiny spunky eight year old just a minute ago. All I ever wanted was a house full of kids, I never thought of them growing up, and leaving... sedate me now. I know, I know my oldest is twelve, she's not exactly packing her bags, but twelve plus twelve is twenty- four. The next twelve years are not going to go by any slower than the first. I'm whining yes, I realize that ... sorry.
I want my kids to grow, but I want to keep them small. I want them to experience life, but I want them by my side. I want them to be independent, but I don't want them to leave home. It's a good thing I didn't think about all this before I had children. It's a good thing I had no idea how much I would love them, or how many times my heart would break.
At the end of mass this morning they sang "Our God is an awesome God he reigns from heaven above with wisdom power and love .... You must know this song, anyway it kills me. To hear almost two hundred children lift their voices in praise... well needless to say I completely lost it.One of those shoulder shaking, don't bother trying to stop, don't care who sees me kind of cries not to mention thinking about where we were last year on this day,pregnant and freaking out, to where we are today , so happy with Emilia. I guess that's what started my emotional state... it doesn't take much.
Anyway thanks for listening to me whine a little. I have this sweet little poem Bella made in preschool. on the top are her hand prints with this written underneath.
Sometimes you get discouraged
Because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints
on furniture and walls.
But everyday I'm growing
I'll be grown up someday
And all those tiny hand prints
will surely fade away.
So here's a final hand print
Just so you can recall
Exactly how my fingers looked
when I was very small.
I will never take this down... never.


Kele said...

UGH! So ironic that this is the first post I read to night as I start out to read the few blogs I follow. Earlier this evening, Mike and I sat on the front lawn, Presley on my lap, watching Mikah and Jett run around and play hide and seek, and chase each other, laughing and yelling each others names, I wanted to cry because it was so precious, and one of those moments in which I knew in that instant 'this is going to be gone soon, sooner than I want, sooner than I can help, gone forever, never to be had again'.
Sweet post, it really hit home... and I TOTALLY understand.
BIGhug girl!

Heather said...

Well,this use yo be me.I would cry as I watched another year of school come and go.Mark would find me in tears as each one of the kids birthdays would arrive and I would be up late,decorating the table,setting out gifts and leafing through their baby books that I set out each year on their day.I wondered where the time went and where it was going and then one day,Caitlin was probably turning 7, and I was crossing the school courtyard,my head hung low and I ran into another mom.She asked if I was alright and I said yes,it was just Cait't birthday and I was sad at how quickly time had gone.She grabbed me by the shoulders,looked me in the eye and said"Embrace the change,embrace time passing and each day she is here with you.It is a gift of another year.Rejoice."She hugged me and walked away.I stood there and realized that her very own daughter was newly out of treatment from leukemia.Who would have known back then,how full circle things would come.Her daughter is now in college and me,I no longer cry at change and one day,I am going to knock on the door of this women,remind her of that conversation ,that she probably doesn't even recall and thank her because it really was one of those life changing moments.The kids are beautiful.Love the uniforms,love your precious children and I so hope you don't think I am diminishing your struggle.I get it.I truly do.I just sometimes am compelled to share that story.Love to you ..

Denise said...

Oh my... I almost missed this post. Don't apologize for was beautiful. I love that song "Our God is an Awesome God" and when you talked of all those kids singing it, it brought instant tears to my eyes at just the thought of it. And that poem at the it!! My cousin gave that to me one year for Mother's Day when my oldest was just one. She put her handprints on it. It still hangs on my wall!!!

Denise said...

Oh, and by the the pic of all the kids lined up in size order in their uniforms.

scrappy quilter said...

First I love that song. We sing it often in our church.

You can whine all you want. I know exactly how you are feeling because I have 2 sons leaving home and I don't want it to happen and yet I know it must. Enjoy the moments you have with them because too quickly you have to give them wings to fly. Hugs!!

Michelle said...

You are not whining...and I totally agree with you. EXACTLY. My oldest is 13, in five years...eek, she will go off to college. It is hard and rewarding all at the same time. I understand how you feel totally, talk away, I almost cried reading....

love the back to school pic!

Emily said...

I LOVE that poem! I feel your pain. I want my kids to grow so badly and experience life to the fullest, but it is so hard at the same time! I also have a 5th and 2nd grader and one starting pre-school. I will be alone with Justin twice a week. Crazy... Love the pictures!

Ruby's Mom said...

They do grow up so quickly!My three oldest boys are 24,19,and 18.Just the other day I was looking at a picture of them when they were 9,4,and 3.They were wearing crowns from Burger King and they were just so little and cute.I enjoy who they are now but I sure miss them being little.I try and enjoy every minute of the time I have with all my kids because now I realize how fast they will be grown and gone:)
Your children are beautiful!Love the pictures!