When Putin signed into law the ban on Russian adoptions, I went into a tailspin. My Girl is in Russia. What the hell was he thinking!
My plan was simple when I found Carina on Reece's Rainbow.
1.Raise a lot of money for her.
2.Find her family.
I didn't have a plan B.
I definitely didn't have a plan for the freaking country closing down!
Anger filled every part of my body, including my heart. Which by the way, hurts like hell when it breaks. There is a physical pain involved.
Some days it was impossible to take a deep breath.
My girl locked away in an institution, for the rest of her life because the leader of her country is a madman.
There is no logical explanation. He was pissed and he hit us where he knew it would hurt. He has no heart. And he has the blood of thousands of children on his hands. Because without Americans adopting them they will die!
I was angry, livid, and blind with rage toward this man.
Slowly, the anger turned to grief. A, real, strong and emotional grief. This child that I love so much is locked away in a country that I am locked out of. I cannot save her.
There were small glimpses of hope that maybe the special needs orphans would be allowed to be adopted... but no, that was not to be. Then another small moment when we thought maybe the families already in the process of adopting would be allowed to finish up and bring their children home. Children they had already met and promised to come back for. But again... No! was the answer.
And today Reece's Rainbow begins the very painful process of reallocating the funds of the Russian children to children waiting for families in other countries . All money I raised, with the help of my communities for Carina. The giveaways and dress down days the bake sales and craft shows and Auctions and just plain begging. It raised 6,537.00 for her. But I couldn't find her mama in time.
That was my gift to her. Money in her account. That was her hope. And today even that is gone.
And again, my heart hurts...so much.
Reece's Rainbow is doing what needs to be done. Those girls there have a heart wrenching job of reallocating all this money from all the orphans. And my heart goes out to them. They love all these kids so much.
I can say with some joy that Carina's fund will go to two sisters and one other Sweet Dumpling that caught my eye. It will be their hope now.
My Carina, you will always have a piece of my heart.
A dear friend gave me much comfort by telling me, ours(Carina and me) was a Spiritual Adoption. God matched us because He knew what was coming and He knew I'd love her with a mama's heart.
One day, I'll find you.Somehow, I'll find you. Til then Sweet Girl stay strong and safe and know you are loved.