Changes

The sun is just peaking through my window and gently landing on my face. The gentle morning sun , like the gentle hand of God reminding me that He is close. The crickets are still singing, and the birds must be listening because they are silent. 

Summer is coming much too quickly to an end and that makes me so sad. I wish I could just stop time right here. Here, in August with it's long lazy days and my family close by. With everything green and fragrant. The flowers are at their finest, the greenery at it's fullest. Butterflies, dragonflies and crickets rule, squirrels and birds relax with full belly's and plenty of food. Children swim and lay in the sun with no place to to rush to.   


Dinners are simple and usually eaten in bathing suites, ice cream is an acceptable side dish, and late nights are embraced. 


Oh why does my heart get so heavy when summer is saying goodbye...


Goodbye to summer means hello to fall. Hello to early mornings and rushed meals trying to make it to "wherever" on time. It means sitting in traffic and missing the sunset. It means no more soft sand and ocean breezes. 


It means changes, and I'm not a fan of changes. This year there are a lot of changes. Too many for my heart to handle.
Olivia is entering high school. She is leaving behind the safety of St Peters, a school she has attended since Kindergarten. Nerves are aplenty... both hers and mine. 
My little girl in high school. How and when did this happen. We were just holding hands and reading stories and playing. I was just watching her dance across the living room, and helping her to dress like a princess. There were loose teeth and boo boos, bubble baths and combing her hair. When did all that stop??? When was the last time I brushed her hair? I wish I could remember, I wished I had known it was the last time. I would have tried to remember every detail.
I miss my little girl so much. My heart aches for one more day with the seven year old Olivia. 

Sophia is going into seventh grade and will graduate next year. I look at her and still see a baby. I forget that she is a young lady. A mothers eyes can play tricks on her. Sometimes we are unable to see what stands before us, we see what is in our memories.


Bella  is going into fourth grade. She has grown so much this past year, and I have no control over it. LOL The baby girl until Miss Em came along... Bella the wild one . The free spirit, the one who will not be tamed.


Andrew, big year for my boy. Second grade! My baby boy. Taller, much taller this year. But still my baby boy.


And Miss Em, turning three and going to school. She's so little. How will they even keep track of her?? Will they understand her?  So many worries, but I'm also so excited for her. She needs this, she needs to go. 




Just like the summer, they all need to go...


They need to spread their wings, discover, learn, explore, grow. 

They can't stay little forever. No matter how hard I try, they just keep on growing. I wonder how many times a mother's heart breaks. Endless amount of times, I imagine.

So, just like the seasons, a new time is beginning... an old one is ending.   Fall is beautiful, so different from summer but still so beautiful...