Sunday, August 21, 2011

Changes

The sun is just peaking through my window and gently landing on my face. The gentle morning sun , like the gentle hand of God reminding me that He is close. The crickets are still singing, and the birds must be listening because they are silent. 

Summer is coming much too quickly to an end and that makes me so sad. I wish I could just stop time right here. Here, in August with it's long lazy days and my family close by. With everything green and fragrant. The flowers are at their finest, the greenery at it's fullest. Butterflies, dragonflies and crickets rule, squirrels and birds relax with full belly's and plenty of food. Children swim and lay in the sun with no place to to rush to.   


Dinners are simple and usually eaten in bathing suites, ice cream is an acceptable side dish, and late nights are embraced. 


Oh why does my heart get so heavy when summer is saying goodbye...


Goodbye to summer means hello to fall. Hello to early mornings and rushed meals trying to make it to "wherever" on time. It means sitting in traffic and missing the sunset. It means no more soft sand and ocean breezes. 


It means changes, and I'm not a fan of changes. This year there are a lot of changes. Too many for my heart to handle.
Olivia is entering high school. She is leaving behind the safety of St Peters, a school she has attended since Kindergarten. Nerves are aplenty... both hers and mine. 
My little girl in high school. How and when did this happen. We were just holding hands and reading stories and playing. I was just watching her dance across the living room, and helping her to dress like a princess. There were loose teeth and boo boos, bubble baths and combing her hair. When did all that stop??? When was the last time I brushed her hair? I wish I could remember, I wished I had known it was the last time. I would have tried to remember every detail.
I miss my little girl so much. My heart aches for one more day with the seven year old Olivia. 

Sophia is going into seventh grade and will graduate next year. I look at her and still see a baby. I forget that she is a young lady. A mothers eyes can play tricks on her. Sometimes we are unable to see what stands before us, we see what is in our memories.


Bella  is going into fourth grade. She has grown so much this past year, and I have no control over it. LOL The baby girl until Miss Em came along... Bella the wild one . The free spirit, the one who will not be tamed.


Andrew, big year for my boy. Second grade! My baby boy. Taller, much taller this year. But still my baby boy.


And Miss Em, turning three and going to school. She's so little. How will they even keep track of her?? Will they understand her?  So many worries, but I'm also so excited for her. She needs this, she needs to go. 




Just like the summer, they all need to go...


They need to spread their wings, discover, learn, explore, grow. 

They can't stay little forever. No matter how hard I try, they just keep on growing. I wonder how many times a mother's heart breaks. Endless amount of times, I imagine.

So, just like the seasons, a new time is beginning... an old one is ending.   Fall is beautiful, so different from summer but still so beautiful...

8 comments:

Zoey's mom, Heather said...

"Change always comes bearing gifts."~Price Pritchett

Well, you just knew I was going to leave you with a quote, didn't you?

I have had to learn to embrace change myself. The last 4 years with Miss Zoey has given me no other choice.And, as I watch the rest of the kids, ebb and flow through life, I have had to learn to navigate the ever changing tide myself.Through their eyes I have learned to see the gifts with a clarity I once never had.

Sending peace to you during these changing times friend ...

Chromosomally Enhanced said...

they may all need to go...but I am selfishly not ready!! I think this time of year of such an unknown when sending our little ones even the 7th graders off to school...into the world...so necessary, such a right of passage but so scary for us parents...great post! happy fall! smiles

Scrappy quilter said...

Although change is tough it's so necessary for all of us. I don't do well with change and yet my life has been enriched because of it. What a beautiful post my sweet friend. Love ya

my family said...

i a not one for change either. Someseasons are more difficult than others and this one sounds like a big one for you and your famiy. It was hard letting go as William walked into kindy this year but Miss Em will do fantastic, I know it. I wish I had some wise words to share but I too am walking through some of same waters you are and yes it is difficult at times but ohhow proud we should be of our kids

{{hugs}} my friend and lean on Him

Rochelle said...

Sitting here in tears. Totally understand your heart and this post. Praying for all your kids to soar this year.
no worries if they can understand my little Ukrainian princess they will have no trouble understanding Em.

Michelle said...

I think it must break often...I, too, feel time slipping through my fingers. While I AM enjoying seeing them turn into young ladies, I ache for when they were little. When it seemed less complicated. I'm already nailbiting Kindergarden for Lillian and it's still a year away. The summer just did pass too quickly. Sending you a warm hug, my friend, you touch my heart.

The VW's said...

I dread this time of year so much! The last weeks of Summer leave me aching for the first day again! I hate giving up the lazy days and time spent with my boys! If I didn't love the Fall season so much, I'm quite sure the loss of all things Summer would be unbearable! Hugs to you as the unstoppable changes make their way into our lives! I'll be kicking and screaming right along with you! Hugs!!

Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around said...

totally crying through this post - you wrote it so well! the part that got me was wondering when the last time was that you brushed olivia's hair and how you wish you would have known it would be the last time. change is hard! whitney is turning 3 on thursday and we said goodbye to 3 of her 4 early intervention therapists today and we say good bye to one more tomorrow morning. they have become such a part of our family that even though it is good that whitney is growing and getting stronger it is hard to change and not know when you might see someone who has been a weekly part of your life!
thinking of you with all of the change you are going through with your kids getting bigger and growing up (TOO QUICKLY!!!!!)