Tuesday, June 15, 2010

My Little Man

The best of the best! Andrew's teachers.

Andrew Graduated from kindergarten today!! Oh my heart. Why does it feel so heavy????

I was fine until this morning. Then it hit me. All four of my children have started school in St Peter's. Miss Em will not. This is the last kindergarten graduation at this school with these incredible teachers.

I thought I was OK with this. Honestly I haven't been dwelling on it. Until today that is.

I want Em to feel and experience what all my other kids have at this school. And she won't.

It's an ending that I don't want, and a beginning I'm not sure of. I know Em would be embraced and loved in this school. Everyone already knows her. The children adore her. It is the perfect school for her. The problem is it's a private school and forget about funding for an aid or anything to meet special needs. Private doesn't mean well funded, and this makes me sad. Em would blossom at St. Peter's. She would laugh and make friends. And I would have peace of mind.

In just a year Em will begin to transfer from ET to the school dept. I've been told that Warwick is a "good" one to be in. We'll see, I guess.

And then there's my Little Man, Andrew, whose not so little anymore. Who is growing leaps and bounds, right before my eyes. Someone has sped up the hands of time to a very uncomfortable speed. I need slow motion for a while, just until I can catch my breath.

But, on the other hand, which isn't so heavy hearted, I am overjoyed that my children are growing and changing and becoming beautiful , independent people. I'm blessed to be alive and able to watch the ever changing cycle of life.

And I am being forced to accept change, for what it is. A new chapter. Em's chapter. And in the end, as long as we're happy , healthy and together, that's all that matters. In my heart I know that.

Just sometimes I get a little forgetful, like today.


Rochelle said...

Congrats to Andrew!
Just a thought for you...if you truly think Em would blossom at St. Peter's and you would love to have her there why not pursue it?

We have friends here whose daughter is 9 and was the very first child with ds to go to their family's Catholic school (and is doing fabulous). The school district you live in still can provide services to Em even if she is in a private school. Contact the local district's special ed director for more info. about amount etc. You may find that it might be enough to meet Em's needs.
Wherever she goes to school she will be loved and blossom I am sure of that!
Hugs to you!

Kelly said...

Congrats, Andrew! Look at you, a big 1st grader:) Wow!!

I agree with Rochelle, Em is going to be loved and blossom, no matter where she goes!

I feel your anxiety, Stephanie! Sometimes, the rules of the game change with our kiddos. And that is not an easy one to swallow. I wish that Landon could stay at the daycare/preschool he is at now. We get so attached to the teachers and find such comfort knowing that they truly are taken care of. Once again, being thrown into the unknown!

If we could navigate our way through the fears of the unknown the first time around.....there is no doubt WE CAN AND WILL DO IT AGAIN!!

Emily said...

That is great Andrew! You are moving up in the world!
Oh how I feel what you're feeling. Our little Brynn graduated from pre-school where all of my girls went. Justin will not go there. Justin will not go to their Elementary school. Isn't it amazing. We close chapters... and open new ones.

Tina said...

Firstly what a lovely big boy Andrew is, I know they grow way way too fast. Sometimes I get so worked up when Vir says to me that in 2 years he's going to be 9 or that in 4 years he's going 11, it just reminds me how fast they are growing up and aren't our little babies anymore. For that I guess I have Saira who is taking her sweet time going through each stage and I get to have my baby that much longer.

At the same time the unknown is always scary, I am scared about Saira going to school and don't know what to expect, but I know when the time comes we are going to deal with it beautifully and everything will fall into place. It's just harder to imagine I suppose.