I don't really know how to start this letter. Maybe I should introduce myself to you. I'm Carina's Warrior. I found her in November when Reece's Rainbow Angel Tree was getting started. She wasn't my first choice, you know. In fact I didn't even notice her until I had to go back and pick another child. You see my first choice was Lucille. Her big smile just drew me right in, but she already had a warrior, so I had to choose another child.
That's when I saw her. Just the opposite of Lucille, Carina had no smile at all, not even a hint of one. I just sat and stared at her for a moment wondering what this sweet child has already had to endure, what had those beautiful eyes already seen, to give her such a sorrowful look on her beautiful face.
Well, I was in love and there was no turning back. She didn't have a penny in her account and had never had an inquiry, but she had me, for whatever that was worth.
But she needs you! Her mama!
I wish I could be everything to her, I wish she could lift her arms up to me one day and call me, mama. I dream about holding her and snuggling with her and above all else, seeing her smile! But that is not to be.
I know you are out there. I know with all my heart that you exist. I know that for every orphan there is a family. God would never abandon any of his children. It's just finding them that is challenging. And finding them in time.
Carina doesn't have a lot of time. She is turning four this month and at that ripe old age she is aging out. She is too old for the baby house. Imagine that. Too old at four. So, she will be transferred to an adult mental institution. Somehow I'm not seeing how four is the appropriate age for this final destination either.
I'm not seeing how any age is an appropriate age to be transferred to hell on earth.
I'm afraid for her. I'm afraid her spirit is too broken already to withstand what lays ahead of her.
I am terrified that she will give up.
When I found Carina in November, I honestly thought she would get adopted during Angel Tree. I mean she is healthy, and just breathtakingly beautiful. I'll admit, I was a bit stunned when I found out, that nobody even asked about her. But, I still had confidence that long before April she would have a family committed to her. I put her photo everywhere, I blogged about her, and all of FB knows Carina... at least all of my friends.
And yet, she still waits.
Where are you??
She needs you now!
Please, she cannot go on without you. And neither can I.
I cannot let her down.
In November , April seemed so far away. Maybe I was over confident. Maybe I just assumed everyone would love her like I did, and there would be a line forming for her.
I think about you often. I wonder where you live. If you have other children, do you already have a child with Down syndrome? Do I already know you? So many thoughts of you swirl around in my mind.
But the only thing that matters is that you love her. That she makes your heart skip a beat when you look at her. That you can't think of anything else but bringing her home.
If by some miracle you are reading this, I want you to know, I will stand shoulder to shoulder with you to get her home. I will help you in any way I can. And there is a big beautiful community out here who I'm sure won't mind me speaking for them too. We will help you get her home. It's just what we do for each other.
Please don't let fear stand in your way of saying Yes! You're not alone, that's for sure!
Please, Sweet Carina's Mama, put your faith in God, and step out to Carina. Extend you hand and your heart to this beautiful child who needs you so desperately , right now.
I'll be right behind you.
All my love,