Olivia Anne, Happy Sweet Sixteen and, Thank You...

On September 18th 1997, I became a mother. The day before my birthday and right on her due date, Olivia Anne came bursting onto the scene. I was blinded and completely in love with this little bundle of mine. I hadn't a clue what to do with her but, boy oh boy, did I love her!

Looking back now, I am realizing how amazingly blissful those first few years of motherhood were. Those sweet lazy days, no rush to be anywhere, except maybe the park.  Just you, me and Special Bear.  

But, Liv, my sweet girl, you insisted on growing. And soon our sweet blissful days became just a memory. But such a treasured one. Thank you for those days...

Our days soon became busy, with the arrival of Sophia. Such a firecracker, good thing you were there to help mama. How we would sit and laugh as Baby Sophie got into "something" and needed a helping hand.  The two of you would sit and play(what you wanted) and sing (what you told her to). And I would sit and count  my blessings. Thank you for those days...

And soon you were a little girl. No sign of that baby, or toddler remained. You had your own girlfriends and play dates and of course ballet. Oh, and there were noisy crazy birthday parties. And late nights with giddy girls at sleepovers, where no sleeping was allowed. Bad moods and meltdowns were introduced... that was interesting...   Braces and manicures and big girl haircuts. And I thought these years will never end. And I smiled. But alas, my love, you still insisted on growing even more.  And more treasured memories were tucked away, safely in my heart. Thank you for those days...

And then you became a teenager... WOW!  Good bye to St. Peter School and hello to  high school , more ballet, Stress was now a steady part of your life. I watched how you learned to balance honor classes with long ballet classes mixed with even longer rehearsals. Homework, family life, friends, tough times, disappointments and  accomplishments. And I watched you somehow pull it all together and make it work. And I was proud. These are the days we are in right now.  Thank you for these days...  I treasure them, as I know these too will soon become a memory.

As you turn 16 today, I wanted to take this time to thank you. Thank you for just being you. For always loving me. Thank you for overlooking all my short comings and mistakes... there have been plenty, and will most likely be plenty more. I am also a work in progress. 

I look forward to the days yet to come. I'm excited to see where they will lead you. One thing I know for sure, is that.. I will smile, I will be proud and my heart will be bursting with treasured memories.

Happy Sweet Sixteen, Liv
Love you more...
Mom


P. S  I think you are most beautiful when you smile....

Our Mission/Calling/ Joy.. International Adoption Ministy

Yeah, I know I usually try to lure you in with some cute photo of Miss Em. Well, today there is none. I have Peter's computer and I'm photoless. 

All I have is a request. We are now the proud parents of a non- profit organization! 

Peter has worked like a dog to get this started. Plus he had to work with me... no easy task , as I can be a royal pain in the backside(as I've been told) 

Anyway it's called International Adoption Ministry. (I.A.M)

Our purpose is too raise money to help families who are in the final stages of an International adoption.

Reason? Well, for a long time I've advocated for orphans with special needs( I will continue that!!!) and through that I have meet a lot of AMAZING families. I donate as much as I can but lets face it, we're broke.Five dollars really will break us at times. 

Why the final stages?  As I have watched families fund raise it seems that most start out really well. Money comes in faster at the beginning than at the end. So many times there has been this frantic fund raising either right before a family travels (because they haven't got enough funds to travel ) or when they are already in country  because something causes them to be detained and again they are low on funds and the panic begins. That's when we want to be able to help. To be able to take that stress away from a family by supplying those last few hundreds or thousands of dollars that are such a bugger to raise. What a freaking joy that would be! 


So I thought wouldn't it be awesome if we could actually help families through a non profit. I mean it's going to take a lot of work, and time and probably some swear words(from me not Peter) But what the heck, if it works we could really help out!

What I need from all of you. SUPPORT! NICE WORDS(LOL) AND ENCOURAGEMENT, AND TO "LIKE" US

We have a brand new Facebook page. I'd love it to overflow with likes and shares!!! No money needed just a few clicks. 

We're so excited about this. Please share in our excitement and be a part of it! 
Check us out , International Adoption Ministry

A Fluffy Post of Photos and a Rare Glimpse of ... Me

 The Zoo... they'll let anyone in .

Love the "Home Alone" look Em is giving

The only way to travel... she's no fool

My favorite

Don't be fooled by what looks like a cute pic of siblings, the youngest gently touching her older sister, What you're actually looking at is Emmie giving Bella a big shove out of the way while yelling "moooove"

Music maker

Nothing more fun than silly selfies.

And then an even sillier one of me pretending to eat my daughter.

Em LOVED the kaleidoscope windows! 

And no trip to the zoo is complete without a pic on the dog. Most popular dog in RI.

Light A White Candle.. Hanson and the Lost Boys are Remembered

 

 
Today there will be white candles bringing a glow to a sad situation. 

This child, Hanson, died alone in Eastern Europe in an orphanage. He died waiting. And his life and death went seemingly unnoticed by all around him.  But, that is not true! Hanson was loved!

He was loved by those who advocated for him. He was loved by those who yelled for him and prayed or him and raised funds for him. His face was known, and he was called by name, and he was LOVED!

No , unfortunately Hanson never knew who loved him.  He never got to feel real unconditional love while he was here on earth. And that's the saddest part of this story.

But Hanson's death will not go unnoticed any longer.  There was a special young man who really loved Hanson. A man who has the same challenges that Hanson had, and who could put himself in Hanson's shoes.  He wrote to a friend and said this "I don't think he should stay in an orphanage.  A family is a better thing.  I think I would have been a Lost Boy.  It would be scary.  I don't think I should think about it."
 

This young man was so moved to do something special for Hanson, that today at 3:00 in Canada there will be a  Full High Requiem Eucharist Mass for Hanson.

Since most of us won't be able to go to the Mass our part in remembering Hanson will be in the candle lighting. 

  A white candle for Hanson and the other boys who died waiting. Please join in.  And for the full story please go to Julia Nalle's blog and read her post!

Heather Von St. James, Beating The Odds

I was contacted  about a week or so ago by Heather Von St. James. She is a  cancer survivor.  She asked me if I would help spread awareness and tell her story on my blog. We don't know each other, so she had no way of knowing how many times I've seen cancer wreak havoc on a life I care about.  She has no idea how many times I've read the words "it's back" on blogs. And she has no idea how many times I've prayed for friends taking their littles in for their routine blood work to make sure "it's " still gone. And she would never know how many times I've asked God "Why did you have to take that one"?  So I welcomed the chance to have her story here on my blog. It's scary as hell, and Heather is one tough chick. I was incredibly moved by her story, as I'm sure you will be too.  Please read on, share and learn!   

Beating the Odds, Heather Von St. James


I always knew that if I was lucky enough to become a mother, I wanted to do everything the right way. When I actually became pregnant, I scoured pregnancy books and sought out expert advice. Those nine months were the happiest of my life as I spent my time daydreaming about motherhood. That day I saw my beautiful daughter Lily for the first time, I knew how blessed I was.

I could never have imagined the devastating news I would receive just 3 ½ months after Lily was born. Unfortunately, I found out I had a life-threatening form of cancer known as pleural mesothelioma, and that without treatment I would have only 15 months to live. Dying before my daughter’s 2^nd birthday was not an option. I was determined to do anything they asked if it would give me a shot of surviving so I could raise Lily.

When I was pregnant and envisioning life as a mother, I thought this time in my life would be spent caring for Lily. Instead, my husband and I decided that I should receive mesothelioma treatment 1200 miles away in Boston, Massachusetts. As difficult as this surgery was, which involved removing the lining of my heart and diaphragm as well as my left lung, it was more difficult losing precious moments with Lily. I was in Boston for a month, and then spent the remainder of my daughter’s first year undergoing treatment (radiation and chemotherapy). I am grateful I had so many people in my life, including my wonderful husband and parents, who offered their support.

For the most part, life resumed as I had hoped when we finally got home. Lily and I were able to spend time playing, going to the park, and having play dates with friends. There were times that I physically didn’t feel up to being active, but I still loved every single minute spent with Lily. I wanted her to know how much I cherished and loved her, and how grateful I was for this second chance.

Eight years later, my husband Cam and I are able to cherish a bright, positive, beautiful little girl. 

 
We know how blessed we are to have her, and she knows why we feel this way; she understands how precious life is. We experienced this ordeal together and I will never forget what it took to get here today.

Fortunately, a lot of positive things happened as a result of this horrific cancer. My family we are grateful for every minute we have together. I tell my story, hoping that it offers comfort to anyone who might be going through a similar situation – you are not alone. I’m living proof that it is possible to overcome anything.




I've listed a couple of links if you'd like to continue to read about Heather and her story. 
Video 
Blog
 

Before and After/Then and Now

I was going through some photos and I came across one from the winter. Then I got this brilliant idea to do a before and after// then and now post. I may keep this up if i can gather enough pictures. 



 So, here is the "then"

And here is the "now"

Ahhh, much better.

The Little Garden Statue

Em had no problem entertaining herself one day in the yard, when the others were busy. I turned the sprinkler on low and she loved it!

Look at the pictures and see what she does when she decides she needs a friend to play with.

Being cautious at first.

Getting closer...

Little feet in!

Love this one! Full face in the water!

Now, she's thinking... this would be fun with a friend. But who??

The little garden statue isn't busy. 

Come on little statue, lets go cool off.

Stand right there.

The water may be cold at first but it feels so good!

Together in the sprinkler! Best friends..

Thanks for playing , Little garden statue. See you later.

THEY KNOW!

A couple of days ago, A FB friend posted a picture of her with her son. This picture had a profound affect on me. Photographs can move you at times. You all know the saying , "A picture is worth 1000 words." Well, this photo spoke volumes to me.  And the words added by Dawn describing the picture really hit me.

This wasn't an ordinary picture of a mother and son. You see Kolya, Dawn's son was just adopted from Eastern Europe.Kolya and Dawn's husband Rich were unexpectedly detained in country due to a problem with the passport for Kolya, making the wait for Dawn even longer.

And as with any adoption there were the mountains to move and stress, and the  hard work of fund raising. But that's not what hit me when I saw the photo of them together. It was something I didn't expect.

So without further ado here is the picture.

 
It's a great pic right? Mother and son. This picture alone made me cry. You can just see all the love Dawn has for Kolya and look at Sweet Kolya, so comfortable in his mama's arms.

But here are the words that went along with the photo.

"This was the moment I first saw him and his knees buckled he just collapsed in my arms. We held on to each other for a few mins before we moved."

When I read those words, and the tears started to fall... and fall. And it hit me point blank. 

HE KNEW!

HE UNDERSTOOD!


Friends, these beautiful children, children with special needs, children most think don't understand, Children society thinks won't amount to anything..they KNOW!! They can feel that the life they have in the orphanage, the only life they know, is not right. Even if they are blessed to be in a decent orphanage, they KNOW it's not how life is supposed to be.

They can sense there is something more! There is something missing! And when they (the lucky ones who get families) feel love , true unconditional love for the very first time, they KNOW!


 
 No one tells them they are unloved. There caregivers don't sit and converse with them about it. But in their hearts these children KNOW. 

And they wait, silently...

Holding hope in their hearts. 

..." his knees buckled he just collapsed in my arms. We held on to each other for a few mins before we moved."

 

Thankful Sunday , With a Twist

As I sat to write this Thankful Sunday post, all I could think of were negative things. And obviously I'm not really thankful for things gone wrong. 

So I was thinking, there must be something to be thankful for... right?


So I decided to take all the negatives and turn them into positives.

Here I go.

Negatives:

1.The AC broke in the back seats of the big green Suburban
2.The tires are all shot.
3.The weather stinks!
4.The kids are definitely trying to break me, and are doing a great job, as my sanity is withering.
5.Emmie is constantly nakie( her own doing) and not potty trained.Which is even worse than having a puppy in the house!
6.Our beaches have been invaded with crustacean isopods!
7.Money is tighter than tight.


Positives:

1. Ac is not broken in the front seat, where I sit (hehe)
2. Peter has finally decided to buy new tires, even if it's one at a time! Thank you God!
3. The weather stinks, Can't do much with this one!  LOL
4. My skin is growing tougher and I'm taking less and less from the kids. My house my rules!No discussions!
5. While potty training seems to be going nowhere fast, Em did show signs of promise when she pooped in her pull up and immediately took it off and FLUNG it across the room. A sign that she clearly did not want to stay in a soiled pull up. God give me strength.
6. Eventually the little suckers will be pushed back out to sea and the humans can go swimming again! 
7.Even though money is tight, my husband has a good job where he is appreciated and in a wonderful atmosphere. He comes home happy and is without stress!!!! 


Have a wonderful Sunday everyone. Try to take a negative and turn it into a positive. 
Keeping the faith and having a sense of humor can only help!

And BTW, if you didn't have a chance to read my last post. Please do. And please share this one!!! Ally needs a family now. It's urgent!

Ally On My Mind

There's this girl, named Ally. And she has been on my mind a lot lately. You see Ally is turning 16 on August 25th. 

Now let me tell ,Ally is gorgeous! Big blue eyes, blond hair and a smile that will melt your heart. 

She must be thinking about her birthday.  What girl doesn't think about her 16th birthday. Sweet 16!!!
It's so special! I have a daughter turning sixteen in September and I'm thinking of something special to do for her so she always remembers her sixteenth birthday.

I'm sure Ally is wondering what her day will be like. But I'm thinking she is wondering more about her night. Like where will she sleep. And the next day, how will she eat. Ally will need to get a job. Not to save for a car, but to survive. On August 25th when Ally turns "Sweet 16" she will have only herself to depend on. There will be no party. There is no family to give her one. She will be on the streets. 

Ally is an orphan, and when she turns 16, she ages out. She will become unadoptable.

One day after her 16th birthday will be too late for her to be adopted. 

Ally is in a mess. And she knows it. She also knows that for 16 years no one has wanted her. No one has taken her home to be there daughter. She has grown up unloved, yet still says, YES! I want a family!

So where are they?

Maybe you?

Maybe someone you know?

Maybe a stranger who will see her face after you repost this??  (hint hint)

This is Ally, and she needs a family, NOW!

ALLY

 I've seen it happen before. I've seen families come forward just days before a child ages out. I've seen it and I believe it can happen again. 

Girl, born Aug 25, 1997
HIV, non rheumatic carditis

She is aging out but says, “YES, I want to be adopted!”

A family will need to have paperwork filed PRIOR to her birthday in August; otherwise she will not be able to be adopted.
Ally is in the same orphanage with several other available children. Interested and approved families could adopt multiple children together.

$976.10 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

 

The Shining Light Called Down Syndrome

This kid ROCKS!

I don't think I will EVER get over the fact that I have a Dumpling with Down syndrome.

I mean I go through my days and hardly think about it, but every once in a  while I look at Em and think, "How the heck did we score her"

Sure she's a royal pain in the bottom some days... BUT, I think my other children, you know the perfect , typical kids, everyone desires... yeah those Guys, are bigger pains..hehe



Em has taught me patience, and determination. She's taught me to laugh more and scream like a nut is you feel like it. She has taught me that you don't need music to dance and  that sometimes a good belly laugh fixes everything.

She has taught me to be proud of the fact that she has Down syndrome. When I first found out, I was embarrassed. I felt like people would blame me.  Point a finger at me, for wanting one more baby.  

I look at Em and I think of all the babies that never made it, because of their diagnosis. I think of the aborted babies the abandoned ones, the orphans. And I think of their families, that will never know the joy they discarded.  The beauty they were afraid to hold on to. And it makes me so, so sad. 

I was afraid too. 

Terrified!

I didn't know what to expect, or what to think, or even if I could love this child. I had the worst thoughts come to mind when I was pregnant. Thoughts like , I wouldn't want to hold her. Or I wouldn't bond with her. I feared our whole family would fall apart due to the stress of a special needs child.   

I'm not saying it's easy. No child is easy. And some days leave us both frustrated and a little POed.

But  I would NEVER change a thing. She has blessed us in ways I cannot even put into words. 

In a  nutshell, the world needs people like Em.   They are the shining light in a world which is growing darker by the minute. And if you are one of the lucky ones to receive a light like Em. Hold on to it! Don't let it go out!  This gentle, loving light will guide you on days when you can't see anything else. This light will give you strength when you are weak, and more love than your heart can hold. 

If you are carrying a child with Down syndrome, consider yourself blessed. And protect that light growing within you with everything you've got ! Listen to no one who speaks with any negativity! You've been given a treasure!

How Old are You?

Em is pushing five! I know right!!!!!

Super crazy! And I really can't believe it myself. But one of the most wonderful perks of DS is being able to keep your baby a little longer. Don't all moms say it? Oh, I wish you'd stay little longer...

Yay for us, cause our kids do!

Em is about the size of a three year old and still has a baby face, tiny hand and LITTLE feet.

But once in a while someone will catch a picture of her and I get a glimpse into the future. I found this on  my camera. I believe the photographer was Bella. 

Em looks like a tween! I think it's the hair. It's usually up out of her way. No more pics of Em with her hair down!! Mama can't take it!  But on the other hand , I think she'll make a lovely tween... She has the attitude down pat already.   

Naked and Afraid!

Naked and Afraid. New reality show and quite possibly one of the strangest things I've ever encountered on the tube. I mean they are dropping these people off in dangerous and remote places. Places like the plains of Africa where you can be eaten by ...everything! Do you really have to be naked too? I mean if that lion is going to eat you, would jeans and a T -shirt make it less painful for you? Or give you some sort of strange advantage? No, I believe that lion would eat your jeans and t-shirt too. So what's up with the naked nonsense?

Meanwhile back at the ranch, we have our own version of Naked and Afraid going on. Only we call it, She's naked again, don't let her pee on the new carpet!!!  (and we're the ones afraid)

I think it's much more fun to watch than the original show. Our show features a crazy mother running around trying to catch a naked toddler who can run at speeds of a cheetah.  All the little bear cubs laughing (not helping) the mama  catch the nakie baby.

Standing watch at all times because you just never know when she will reappear, completely nude yet again. 

She tried to pull a fast one on me the other day and strip in her crib!  Luckily I forgot something in her room and discovered her before it turned ugly. 

Hopefully by the time school starts up she will have gotten over being without clothes "thing".  Until then we continue being Naked( her), and Afraid (me)!

I'm Melting, melting....

I know it hasn't been reported, but I'm sure the sun is moving closer and closer to Rhode Island every day, and will soon just eat us up!

IT'S HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HUMID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking slightly wilted, but still enjoying her PBand J sandwich. 


Feeling very blessed for our little pool that keeps us cool!

And what are those little bugs that sing in the trees when it's going to be hot??Anyone know?  Poor things haven't stopped for a minute! I remember my Grandmother used to hate to hear them because she knew they were a hot weather warning. I love the sound they make. Probably would be freaked if I actually saw them though. 

So all you people who don't suffer from extreme humidity, think of us as the sun moves closer and closer and we melt into the Atlantic.

Keep cool Friends!