Saturday, October 3, 2009

Something was wrong...

So much for my quick doctors visit. I went through the normal routine check up. Not much to do when your due any minute. I was practically on my way out when the doctor asked me why I didn't have an ultra sound done the last time I was in.(There are a group of doctors in the building so I rarely see the same one) She noticed it had been a month since my last one. I was having an ultrasound every two weeks to follow dilated renal tubes.OK, I don't know the answer to that question. Maybe because I was close to my due date and everything was going pretty good the last doctor didn't think it was necessary. Well she thought since I was there I should have one. OK, remember I'm still in the "it's all about me" mode. This is killing my day. So here we go, u/s done , waiting for the doc to give me the thumbs up and I'm outta there. The doctor came back into the exam room and the look on her face said it all. Somethings wrong. She immediately asked me if my water broke. DAH, of course not, I obviously would have known and told you. How can you not know if your water broke, you'd be wet! Well I must of had a slow leak or something because there was almost no amniotic fluid left. She gave the baby a stress test. Not bad but not really great, That was the result. Still not completely sure what that meant. After the test she told me she wanted me to go to the hospital to be induced.There was no way of knowing how long the baby has been without fluid. She wanted the baby out. OMG, wait! I have kids at school, one getting out as we speak(Andrew at noon) the others at 3:00, I can't just go to the hospital. She gave me about two hours to pull things together and get myself admitted. Of course I called Peter to get Andrew, and explain what was going on. I stayed amazingly calm. That was until I left the office and got into my car.That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I COULD LOOSE THIS BABY!
I want this baby, I am not going to loose this baby now. No stinkin way! Do you hear me God!!! This baby is mine ! This baby has a family waiting at home! There's no way something is going to happen to this baby three days before her due date! I sat there completely hysterical and alone, praying. I finally saw at that moment that I really did love this baby,much more than I let myself think I did. I had built a strong wall not letting all my love for her in, just to protect ...ME! God came a knockin' and kicked that wall down. I finally saw that it wasn't all about poor me.It never was.It was about the baby. This baby that was in distress right now. This baby that I loved, no matter what.No, Princess it's not all about you(that was God speaking) By the time I got home I was completely calm. I just told Peter we had to go and everything was going to be OK.

Since it's Sunday I will end that part of the post for now. And continue with my Thankful Sunday Post.

I'm thankful that Doctor thought it best to do one more u/s.
I'm thankful for our Buddy Walk today.And really thankful it's a beautiful day, yesterday it poured non stop all day.
I'm thankful that we will all be able to attend at some time today. Scheduling is crazy with the girls but we figured out a way that everyone can be there albeit in shifts but that's OK.
I'm thankful to be blessed with Em and be a part of this wonderful world I never knew existed. What a lesson she has taught me.
Everyone have a wonderful Sunday!

* BTW, the link I have for the dilated renal tubes is not the best. Emilia's kidneys were fine , just the tubes leading from her kidneys were dilated and they were fine after she was born.


Lori said...

Love the new Fall look to your blog! And, I can't wait to hear the "rest of the story" =)

scrappy quilter said...

I'm sitting here with tears. What a wonderful God that He would have the doctor make you have a U/S. To think what would have happened had you not. I'm thankful too for that doctor and for your precious Em. Her smile makes my day everytime I see a picture of her. I can't wait to hear the "rest of the story" too.

Michelle said...

Its amazing to me how God follows us, how He walks with us and with divine intervention, things happen, the next chapter begins and it goes just they way it was supposed to...maybe not how we wanted, but exactly how we needed it to go! So glad Em is here safe!

Michelle said...

Awesome post! Love the new fall look and could that picture at the top be any cuter??? I think not!

Jeana said...

I love the fall picture of Em! So cute. I love hearing your story, we like you were led to the hospital the day Kaelyn was born, God is near and I believe these little ones come to us with quite the escorts.

Mom Of Many said...

Isn't it amazing how when something was wrong all of a sudden that Mama love kicks into high gear? I have seen this happen over and over....I do believe God allowed the u/s problem to get your mind ready for her arrival.

And I am so very thankful that you are telling her story.