Monday, August 30, 2010

Time For Me

As I type this I have one eye on the clock. Liv has an orthodontist appointment at 9:30 a break in between and then PT at noon. Ballet is causing some aches and pains so she sees a PT too. Wednesday they are back at school and soon after all the activities will resume. Those precious six hours that they are at school promised to be my sweet times with Em, but will they really?

With therapies and housework, shopping, appointments and everything else will I actually see any of that time for me?

Lately I've been feeling like I've lost my identity. I feel as though a trained monkey could take my place. I know with a house full of kids and Miss Em and a hubby, things are crazy. But the point I'm trying to make here isn't that I'm fed up with them or all the work, it's that I'm fed up with the fact that I don't set time aside for me. I blame myself for letting go of the things I used to enjoy.
Everything and everybody has time set for them. There's a set time for therapies, a set time for ballet, a set time for dinner(mostly), a set time for work, a set time for cooking, a set time for homework, where is the set time for mom?

If I don't incorporate it into the mix, it will never be there. I mean seriously the kids aren't going to suggest it!
I need some time for me. There I said it! I need to see my friends. I need to pray in silence, so I can actually hear Jesus answer me. Lately if He was talking he'd have to be screaming in order for me to hear Him. I need to be in my garden, write letters, and go for a walk. And crafts, I used to love flower arranging and making things. I've all but forgotten that.

I need these things in order to make me a better person. Serving my family is wonderful, I always wanted a big family, but I can't loose myself. I can't forget about the things , other than my family , that bring me joy.
And I need to remember that it's okay. It's okay to enjoy other things.

So that's my goal this school year. It's going to be tough. But I am going to make time for myself, and not feel guilty about it.

Everyone will benefit by it.

A happy mama, makes a happy home!


LizBeth said...

You bet you need some time to be you. That's good for your family, too. My mom told me to at least take their nap time for myself, at the very least. You need a fresh thought or you'll be stale for everybody else. You're a person, not a pack mule. Go for it!

To Love Endlessly said...

I agree! You need to set time aside for you to do whatever you choose. You need you time. I hope you make it happen this year. For sanity's sake. :-)

The VW's said...

I hear ya! I always tell my boys, "If Momma ain't happy, no body is going to be happy!" :)

Hope you get some much neede "me" time! Hugs!!!

Anonymous said...

I so admire you, Stephanie, because you do have SO much going on and you never complain. Your blog is always so positive and joyful and welcoming. And I think in order to keep that level of joy, you do need to nourish yourself. I hope you can dedicate even 20 minutes to yourself daily! Perhaps this is the message that Jesus wanted you to hear today. ♥

Emily said...

So true, isn't it! Hope you find some wonderful "me" time!

Lacia said...

I am the most guilty of not getting me time. Some of is self-inflicted, but most of it is not by choice. As of next week all of my kids will be full time school and I will have LOTS of me time! I'm looking forward to it, although I will miss everyone. Being "on call" constantly with everyone has really taken a toll on me. I need the refresher!

Lacey said...

I'm lucky that my hubby always makes sure I take time for me. Dinner with my dance friends, whatever! I wish we could go to dinner together! That would be a fun girls night!

Zoey's mom said...

Same feelings ... just 3,000 miles away.

I am going to get back to running and doing yoga.I have made a vow to actually SIT to eat my breakfast and lunch,well,that is when I take the time to eat,which is another of my goals and dare I say,this,I need to step away from the computer and blogging a bit.I really do.Starting this week I am going to begin new online restrictions ... aren't I off to an awesome start,seeing it's 8 am and I am typing this?

Anyway,just wanted to tell you I totally relate ... so sad an entire country separates us,we could do this together.

Tina said...

I get you totally, yes time for ourselves isn't that what most moms and wives say they are going to do and before one knows it another 6 months has flown by! I have been promising myself for the last 8 years that i am going to get fit again, whether yoga, walking or gym, but I am going to do that for myself and my health, well 8 years just flew by and i am still promising myself the same thing. I tell you what I am waiting to read about your "my time" and I promise I'm going to do something for myself as well!

Let start a chain post where everyone has to write about one thing they have started doing for themselves, even if it's something really small!!

You hit the nail on the head "a happy mama surely makes a happy home!!"

scrappy quilter said...

You go girlfriend. We all need time for ourselves. And don't you feel one bit guilty about it. I look forward to seeing what you do with that to see some of your creative side. Maybe like writing a book!! Hugs

Rochelle said...

You are so right, "If mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy"
Hope you work in me time each day (even if it's only 15 minutes).
I think all us moms need to do that and don't do it often enough.

Bulldogma said...

I am SO with you!! I have the biggest list of things I've been wanting or meaning to do... for years! The only "me" time I usually have is when I can go grocery shopping by myself... hardly a break! Yes - this has to be a bigger priority for moms like us!

Michelle said...

My goodness she's beautiful and have missed reading your blog. I know what you mean about losing yourself through all the day to day 'stuff' and family. I feel like more then ever I am stretched in so many different directions, but we've all got to take some time for us before we have nothing left to give others! Glad you are taking time for yourself!!!

LizBeth said...

Okay, it looks like a whole host of people agree you need some time for yourself. So we're going to hold you to it!! Love, Liz

Diane said...

You just hit a subject I know all too much about. My very dear friend I sit here some days & remember the me time, the music playing my foot tapping.

me time is something I haven't had in such a long time I have almost forgotten what that is.

I'll teach you to knit if you want. Only one catch we have to get together once in awhile to do that.