Saturday, March 31, 2012

Why Do They Let Madmen Design Playground Equipment?

There is a park at the end of our street, and I am blessed enough to have a husband who actually loves taking the kids there. So the other day as I was battling traffic on I95, Peter took Emmie to the park. Now, this park is nice, basically just a lot of grass, a swing and a slide. The grass is great for running, the swing super for swinging, but the slide was designed by a madman!  It looks harmless. Unsuspecting mothers put their little ones on the top and watch adoringly as they slide down, all happy and proud, until they come to the middle. When the sweet child hits the mid point on this slide there is a bump. Well, it's more than a bump... more like a hillock(thank you Thesaurus).   At the moment of contact the child is usually catapulted(depending on the weight of the child) either to the bottom of the slide or completely off the slide into the dirt below.

Knowing this from my previous experience with this slide many years ago, when I was the unsuspecting mother, waving one moment and then in the next moment, gasping as my tongue was hurled out of my mouth screaming , "OMG"!!! as I saw my child (very light in weight) catapulted up and and up, then  down and down. Bumpedy, bump bump, into the dirt.

After that, the kids knew to venture very slowly and carefully down that possessed slide. And above all, NEVER LET THE BABY NEAR IT!

Here are some pictures I found on the camera, taken by Dad at the park, with the baby, ON THE SLIDE! They gave me chest pains!!

 Rule one that was broken, letting her climb the stairs alone. They are steep and narrow. She could fall through the bars which were , remember , designed by a  madman! There is no room for era. If she changes her mind half way up and wants to come down there is also no room to turn around. She would definitely tumble down.

 And here she is contemplating coming back down! Or just falling off the top of the side which has no bars at all!
 Notice Dad is a safe distance away and would be able to capture the whole disaster in photos, from his front row seat.

And here she is ready to descend. See the bump! See the empty safe baby swing!  Understand the chest pains! Notice dad is still a safe distance away. Probably smiling and waving... so proud of his little girl!

Also, notice there are no more pictures. Hmmm I wonder why??? Although no one is talking and according to Daddy, Emilia has gone up and down this slide by herself a million times! 


And knowing Emilia, she probably has. All my other kids have learned the hard way about the slide built by the lunatic who hates kids. They all have had sore bottoms, dirt in their mouths, and terror in their eyes thanks to that slide. But maybe, just maybe that old slide has met it's match with Emilia Faith ;) 


Rochelle said...

Haha only a dad!

Dee Etheridge said...

Yeah, I'm gonna dad to be hover a little bit more. To far away from the baby, dad! Oh,the daily adventures of Emilia!

Becca said...

Hahaha, oh, that is a scary, scary slide!!! Got a good giggle out of this post. :-)

Kelli said...

That sure is a big slide. I bet daddy was so proud of her too.